Wednesday, September 29, 2010

That feeling

It's as if I have a long strand of hair caught in the back of my mouth and I can't get it out. It's like every seam in my clothing stings me like tiny itching needles and my hair is sticking to my neck like an unwanted scarf, strangling me. I get shivers up my spine, feel nauseous and feverish even though I'm not sick. That feeling is the one I've walked around with for the last week or so.

I haven't been able to chase it away except for when I sleep. If I try to get out of the door I collapse and just thinking about checking my e-mails make me panic. What is this? I'm not always like this? Why can't it just go away?

I want to be honest and really explain how I feel because I see no point in hiding it, trying to seem as if I'm happy, cheerful and well because I have this weird sickness that seem to slam me to the floor every once in a while. Unexpected, without any warnings and it ruins my life, really. I missed yet another life-drawing class because of this and I don't know if I'll be able to make it to the next one either. If I miss two more classes I fail the course, and I can't do anything about it because it's like I'm cursed to stay in bed. As soon as I get out my body reacts as if it's been struck my the plague or something. When I try to force myself out I feel like I'm about to throw up and my head starts to spin..

This is a bitter part of my life, and I'm hoping it will pass soon and that I will have good days again before this mysterious illness ruins my education..

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