Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Childish adrenaline rush

I ran across a snow covered lawn today, the cold flakes reaching up to my knees. I ran with a smile on my face, jumped and twirled and stumbled. I fell and I laughed, snow covering my knees, my mittens and my face. The sudden rush of happiness felt like a sort of small miracle! I don't know why I did it, maybe it was the nostalgia of playing in the winter landscape, or maybe my body just craved sudden movement and that childish rush of adrenaline.

I'll try to hang on to that feeling now for as long as I can. It was such a relief. Some of you may know I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for a very long time. I don't talk much about it here, but it's always present in my mind. Today I felt true happiness, the pure childish laughter again without any hint of dread sneaking up behind me for the first time in a very very long time. It was only for a few minutes, but it helped. I can already feel it. I'll try to run freely more often..

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