Friday, January 21, 2011

Colorful distractions

I started this blog during a period in my life when I was completely lost and broken. That sounds very dramatic, but it was really one of the hardest things I've gone through. Everything in my life was perfect. Spring was coming, I had my husband, my friends, school went well, I got praise and kind words from everyone but I was so deep into my own depression and anxiety that I couldn't feel anything other than worry and fear.

I don't think enough people speak about this in an honest way, perhaps in fear of being judged and sure, I'm scared too. Mental health issues are regarded as something shameful still, even in our modern society. I don't want to be a part of hiding these things under the rug.

But I remembered just some days ago, my art journal! I haven't created anything in there since this summer and I started to think why. I think it's because this journal was something I desperatly needed why I felt that bad. I needed to regain my creativity because I hadn't been able to draw or create with happiness for months, maybe even years because of my anxiety and the preassure I put upon myself to be great. This journal had no such preassure. I just cut and pasted beautiful images from magazines, doodled and wrote my thoughts. It was my colorful distraction when I felt so bad I couldn't do anything other than cry.

Here I go again with one of those brutally honest posts about my personal life. Sometimes I just feel like sharing you know? I have felt much better for a long time now. I am no longer depressed but I know it will probably always be a part of my life. These things come and go. Right now I feel free and satisfied and now and then I feel pure happiness too.

Thank you for reading this blog. It has been a huge help for me to regain my creative strenght. Don't let preassure and self-doubt rule your life now, okay?


  1. i m glad you feel better now. And I really hope you are going to be better for the rest of your life. Mental illness are really difficult to go through.

    Your journal is AMAZING. the pictures there so cool. You should do something like this again. The journal you show us, was done because you didn't feel you can do a journal because you feel good and want create something happy ;)

    take care!!

  2. So glad that you're able to feel better nowadays :) And I hope it'll stay that way/continue to improve!

    The images in this post are just beautiful and very inspiring :) I think I will start a journal of my own, too!

  3. Journaling like this is a great way of creativity I think, and anyone can do it too, you don't have to be able to draw or anything. I really want to keep on doing it, I have just been busy with other forms of creativity lately. :)

  4. I got a small sketchbook for my birthday so I shall use it to make a journal :D