Monday, January 9, 2012

Of dreams, fears and such...

I would consider my current job to be a dream come true. I'm very happy to be able to make a living out of what I love doing, painting. I've had another dream though since I was a kiddo, and that is to become a fashion designer.

I've been dreaming about going to a certain fashion school for years and years now but always finding reasons not to. Such as not being good enough, wanting to stick around friends and loved ones, being scared in general and thinking I'd never be able to make it, the competition would be too difficult, the pressure too much to handle and that I wouldn't fit in amongst the kinds of people I imagine work in the fashion industry.

Since I'm now trying to live my life as I want it, by my rules without following anyone but myself, I think it's about time I kick myself out of this fear and do something about it.

I'll have to go through some lectures and classes in pattern making and sewing before being able to apply for the real deal school in Stockholm, but that would also give me time to stick around with CoffeeStain Studios a while longer and get to prepare without stress. I really want to go through with this, but I still have all those fears left to deal with. Hopefully I'll be able to get past them and just go for what I want. If all else fails, I'll always have the video game industry and other stuff to fall back on, and that's nothing to complain about.