Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I wish

I wish I wasn't in such a rotten mood today... I have so much stuff to do, both at home and at work, and they are all dreadfully boring, time consuming tasks that I just wish I had a little slave goblin to do for me. Too bad there aren't any spare slave goblins around.

So in an attempt to take my mind of the boring shit I drew this random girl to practice line art and a simple style of shading that might work well for comics.

I sure hope that my efforts at work will be worth it in the end, and that the players of Sanctum 2 will appreciate the features that are the cause of my horribly awful rotten mood today. We'll just have to see I guess. Now I'm heading outside to sit on the office stairs and smoke. Yeah that's right, nothing like poisonous air to clear my mind for a bit.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Missing my sweetness

 The Bear has gone away across the sea for adventure for a while. I'm still here at home but it's much emptier than usual. The thing is that he moved in right after I sent Chessy to her new home. At first it was just a temporary stay for him to comfort me after selling her, but then he stayed and haven't left until now. He'll come back of course, in little less than a week. While spending all day watching Adventure Time, random stuff on TV, reading artsy magazines and eating noodles, I've been missing my beasts an awful lot. I miss Chessy almost every day but I try not to think about her too much since I know she has a great home now and it's no use for me getting sad over the fact that I can't hug her anymore. I'll just bring me down.

Still I went through all my old photos of her and me I've snapped with my webcam and it's really nice to remember all those cuddly moments. Chessy, my little pig, I miss you today!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Search for it

Lunch break sketching I tell ya! It's really a good way to get speedy character portraits done. I've produced more personal art this week than I've done all together in two months! Unless something amazingly fun happens during the lunch hours at work I'll probably keep doing this. For now it'll be random typical enmi girls because I just need to loosen up and feel happy about my own art again.

I'm kind of trying to prepare for a huge work assignment that I can't really talk openly about, but lets just say it will be huge for me and I'll really get to test my own skills and dedication. Exciting and scary at the same time. About work, I really really wish I could share all the art I create here at Coffee Stain Studios but I can't for now. Eventually when more information is revealed about Sanctum 2 I promise to post all the concept art I've made. Now then, lunch is over, back to work.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Discard

Another lunch break sketch. Seems like it's a good time to sit and draw without overthinking things. I'm listening to Veela while working today, designing clean, bright sci fi things typical of Sanctum. I've got fresh air flowing in from the windows by by desk and I felt like sketching something very fluent and airy.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Charlotte Wray

This is a character I've had in my head for a long time. She's a bored freelance photographer living a rather decadent life, always looking for new places and new people to discover. She's a rather loose idea rigth now. I've written short stories about her before but now I hope to really make her come alive as I'm about to start playing her as a character in a world of darkness roleplaying campaign with some friends.

I'm really happy I managed to draw this. It feels like it's been months since I drew anything personal properly, and even though this is just a lunch-break quicky it feels awesome to know I haven't lost all of my skills because of my crative lazyness. I need to get back to work which today is all about leaving my comfort zone. This always makes me feel like I really suck at what I do. Trying to draw things I never do otherwise and have no practice in just makes me loose faith in myself a lot of times, but I need to keep on doing it to learn and to improve. Well, i also have to do it because it's what I get paid to do and it better be good. Pressure! Anyhow, this sketchy personal piece made me feel a bit better about myself.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Nyuh!

Maybe it's the stress, maybe it's working again after the small easter break I had, but there is some little annoyed kid inside of me that just doesn't want to play along with what I do. I almost burst into angry tears when trying to make soup (out of a tin can) and I stare at my own work with a displeased frown even though the results aren't that bad. What is wrong with me?!

At least the sun has started shining outside my office window again and I think the weather really affects me. I want to keep learning how to lonboard properly, I want to get started with packing my stuff for the move, and I want to start feeling energized and happy again.Well, things will change soon with the move no matter what, and after the stress of fixing everything I think it will start to just feel good, as it should.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Sweet artist: Kendra!





Kendra has a really cute tumblr that I scrolled through on this rainy afternoon filled with self doubt and stress. It's oddly comforting and soothing. All her images have little thoughts and messages combined with simple but really stylish drawings. Sure, many of them are sad, but it's in a way that still makes me smile.

So why am I having a so-so day today? Just stress and many grown up things I have to deal with. Going to the bank, calling people about the apartment, buying random things and in the middle of this I didn't have time to get lunch before I had to get back to work. Small silly things that just makes me feel a bit fail, but I think it'll feel better once I get back home. It's time for comfy clothes and tasty food to brighten my mood.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Weekend Wishes!


It's been easter and stuffs! Lots of things have been going on and I feel like I've been really busy. I've managed to get some relaxing done too. First things first... I've bought an apartment! Crazy and unreal, but yes, I've done the very grown up thing of purchasing my own apartment along with the Bear. We can move in by the end of the month and there is a lot of stress involved but most of all I'm just really happy. We´re gonna redecorate, but up new wallpaper, probably new floors as well if we can afford it but we´re gonna have so much more space and I'm finally gonna have my own workspace for my art.

In other news I've been traveling around a bit to see the Bears family for easter. Lots of tasty easter food and such. Now I've got some tasty noms to eat while watching movies on this final rainy day of easter vacation. Tomorrow it's back to work for me, and then start packing for the move pretty soon!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Self doubt at work

I paint stuff, it's what I do for a living. It's fun and amazing in all sorts of ways, but it's also really scary. Some days I just do it naturally and things turn out pretty good, other days, like today, I am challenged with a task I'm not very comfortable with. Today it's environment concept art with both organic and structural shapes in perspective, in full colour and gaah! It's just difficult I guess. It's when I run into these new challenges that I start doubting myself and it feels like my co-workers will run in at any second telling me I've been busted, discovered, revealed to be a fraud and I'll get fired because I can't actually do my job.

It's a silly thought of course, because the results I'm getting aren't exactly disasterous, just not as good as I'd like them to me. It doesn't help at all to compare myself with the very best environmental concept artists out there either. In short, I'm having a major confidence crisis here and I keep staring at my work, shaking my head and hoping it will solve itself somehow if I just leave it there on the screen without touching it.

Well well, here is Skye, the main character of Sanctum. I drew this at work, fantastic...

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Productivity

I have the day to myself, the bear volunteering to drive his friends miles and miles away to watch hockey and football. I have a tendency to become all inactive and dull while alone, but I decided not to go there today.

I made some chai-tea and sat on the balcony listening to sweet music for a while during my morning smoke. Then I went straight to finishing up a custom order for a patch painting with a cute little rhino on it! It's all done now and my tea is finished. I'm thinking what I should do next. I'll probably try to draw something, traditional, not digital. I feel like I need it.

Later today I'm gonna go watch the Hunger Games with a friend. I'm a bit scared, don't know what to expect from the hype. I loved the books though so, we'll see...