Friday, March 15, 2013
The art of not giving a shit
I used to care about everything. The world is going to shit, ice is melting, animals are suffering and kids are starving to death somewhere. People behave like douchebags on the internet and lets not even get started on politics. Gawd, all of that stuff flooded my brain every single day when I woke up and I sure had plenty of nightmares too. I'd walk around all day trying to come up with smart arguments in a debate I've seen briefly on some website the other day. I'd get angry tot he point of crying from some offensive youtube-comment. Fuck it, I felt miserable and my faith in humanity was less than zero.
Ugh, I get tired just writing about it. So yeah, I was at the hospital for a few months and during that time I had no real internet access. There were TV's but sitting there amongst depressed, anxious and psychotic patients in the couch, watching a political debate or an episode of Americas Next Top Model felt so fucking stupid that I have no words for it. Are we supposed to really care about that crap? When people literally feel so overwhelmed mentally that they want to die? Should we really suffer so much just in order to do the "morally right thing" by caring about all the issues and problems in the world?
No... Well, you go on and do that if you really want to but I'd advice all those who do feel overwhelmed, anxious, annoyed or depressed to stop caring and start to learn the very simple art of not giving a shit. No, this doesn't mean you want kids to starve or animals to be tortured. It just means that you don't let that shit get into your mind when you don't need to have it there. You do not have to come up with solutions for the worlds problems. You do not need to sacrifice yourself to fix someone elses life. You don't need to spend your days arguing on internet forums until your fingers bleed from typing. Really, honestly, ask yourself why the fuck you care so much. Does this specific problem affect your directly? I mean as in, is this a problem that has to do with you as a person? In that case, stand strong and keep your head up. If it doesn't have anything to do with you there is no reason to dive into it unless it makes you really friggin happy which I doubt it does.
I know, these words probably sound really cold and harsh to some because we live in a society where everyone is supposed to care. Selflessness is a virtue held in such high regard that if you ever give a hint that you wouldn't sacrifice yourself to save a third world country you might just get your head smashed in. Not caring doesn't mean you're not aware. It doesn't mean that you feel fine with the way things are. It doesn't mean that you wouldn't prefer things to be another way, it just means that you choose what to care about. It is up to you to choose what you let into your mind. I've chosen not to let anything slip into my brain that makes me tick in a bad way and you know why? Because those things made me want to die. Yes, I really really wanted to die. I hated the world so much and I was so desperate for change that I just gave up. I gave up on myself. Was it worth it? Maybe just for the sake of learning the lesson. I don't want to care so I don't.
Think of the world selfless. Selfless - without a self. You put yourself lower in worth compared to something or someone else. Sacrifice. Why is this a beautiful thing?
Deal with issues that have a direct impact on your life or on the lives of the people you love and care for. If you see someone kick their dog on the street, go slap that fuckers face but if it happend half way across the world? Will it help if you share a picture of the injured dog on facebook? You spread awareness of something people already know all too well. You spread misery, yeah, I really mean that. I guess the slacktivism of the internet and also peoples urge to share just how much they care makes me tick in a bad way. So I won't really let that bother me anymore either. It's really that simple.
Posted by enmi at 3:11 PM