Thursday, January 16, 2014

I wish I could...

What If I fail?
I don't really have the time right now.
I should practice more.
I'm not good enough.
I should just snap out of it and grow up.
I want to follow my dreams but that won't pay the bills.
I really need a break but I can't just let everything go.
I wish I could stop worrying.
I used to be much more creative when I was a kid.
I'll never catch up to those who are ahead of me.
I should talk to my family more but...
I have to go to school.
I have to find a job.
I have to be realistic.
I have to face the facts.
Why am I even trying?
It feels like I'm just wasting my time.
I don't want to feel like this anymore.
Why can't I just be like her?
He is so much stronger than I am.
I wanted to say something but...
I don't like my body.
Why can't I just get myself together?
I just feel so useless.
I'm just lazy.
There are so many who could do my job better than me.
What if I'm not as good as people think I am?
What if I let everybody down?
What if they hate me?
Am I ugly? I feel ugly.
I'm just too sensitive.
It's too late to do that now.
If I won the lottery I'd do that.
I hate living here.
I want more.
I don't know what I want.
I don't know who I am.
I wish I could be like them.
I wish I didn't feel so much.
I wish I could meet someone who understands me.
Nobody ever understands me.
I feel alone.
I wish I could tell someone but they'll just think I'm stupid.
I don't want to die but I can't stand life.
But it hurts.
I tried but it was too hard.

I wish I could just run away...

I want you to read these sentences. Just read them plain up and down and think about them. That's really all I would like you to do. 

If you feel anything while reading or if you are stricken with a thought, associate with something, someone or yourself, feel free to write it down in the comments. It can be a single word or a whole wall of text. Doesn't have to make any sense. This is a little quest I want to give you, whoever you are that happens to stumble upon this blog. Then we'll see where it leads. I'm doing a little creative research you see ^__^


  1. Path ahead,
    Drown with dread
    Of uncertainty and foreboding
    Thoughts abound, invisible sigil upon the crown
    Detailing the ill wonderings within
    Remorse for past deeds,
    Feelings of guilt, panging still
    Why must emotions be so screwy…
    Hypersensitivity dredges the mind,
    Infects passive observation, brings wandering judgment
    I’d rather hide away, than face the complexities of day
    To find hope in the gloom, quiet reflection, maybe a laugh or two
    The path might be blurred, but there those who will join the fray
    Willing to assist, to answer my mayday
    Optimism may constitute to solidify a fresh mindset,
    To escape the woes of this cesspit
    And pry free from my self-created demons

    ~ W

    1. It is simply, purely, exactly, spot on.

    2. Pain is a fine instigator for poetry. :)

      ~ W

  2. But plant your hope with good seeds
    Don´t cover youtself with thistle and weeds
    rain down, rain down on me

  3. the feeling of being useless and to disappoint everyone. to think you will never be good enough or as good as your biggest hero was in your age. a hopeless feeling of reaching nothing, moving backward although you know you have to do a lot of things and more. desperateness. you dont know who you are yet but want to know, want to be someone. want to be like somone else you adore. future and this stuff. dreams you hope to reach.

  4. Close your eyes.
    Start deaming.
    Dream about the person you would want to be.
    Dream about what the person would do, if you are that person.
    She shares your feelings.
    She shares your wishes.
    She shares your thoughts.
    She handles your fears.
    She handles your worries.
    She acts strong.
    The person is beloved, for who she is.
    The person is taken serious, for what she say.
    The person enchants her surroundings with her presence.
    The person is that awesome and cool you would not see it with yourself.
    Every room she enters becomes warmer.
    The coldness yield away.
    All you want is to be like her.
    All you want is to be liked as she is.
    All you want is to be someone else.
    You look into her eyes
    Asking her
    what gives you strength?
    what makes you brave?
    what makes you strong?
    what makes you beautiful?
    what makes you being you?
    You look into her eyes
    You stare into her eyes
    She stares back
    All you look to is her
    and you
    a mirror
    All that is you
    All that was you
    All you needed was
    Wake up
    and wake up

    You are loved for who you are
    and for nothing more or less